SORANG-SORANG

note the time and date.

its the final for the world cup. i am all alone in my room. sedihhhh:(

im not feeling well to go out with the others. nak je ikut diorang overnight but im too tired and worn out tonight. no one on ym. shitty moment. i've slept from 8 something and just got awake. Fad called, nak borak pun tak ade mood. haishh. i hate this feeling. demam. tu la. i ate too many durians. seronok sangat. hahaha. i had fun though today.;)

the junior debaters is cool. we, the seniors, push them to the limits as DC is coming up in not more than a month just to avoid debating during Puasa. so okay la. we've pushed them as hard and as far we could. googling every single thing that help them to become a better speaker. i hope it works as seeing them debating 2 days in a row kills me. penat jugak nak practice je. i hope my duty is fulfilled. ;)

i seriously don't know what to do right now. how could Lego leaves me alone. he could wake me up at least. hahaha. considerate la tu. tak nak kacau orang sakit. have yet to see Zack. i hope he's all fine. lots of thing to tell and to hear.

lately, asyik rindu je kat budak-budak. its been awhile since i've spent my time with the girls. Isya and Wafiyya, i miss both of you like hell. nak sleepover la nanti. Maisara pun sama. cepat betul dia besar. gerammmm. i hope i can stay at home masa cuti mid-sem tuu.

i love my friend too much. i cant wait for Krol to come back. looking eff-ing forward to meet with all of them. mesti best if all of us can hang around like we used to hang like before. life has push all of us away from each other but we know our string as group of friends will always pull us back together. sedih la pergi debate kat Jengka and Dewi is having all the time and chance to see Krol. Damn you bitch. hahaha.

cheers!;)

ONE FINE DAY

fuhhh. its raining rite now here at Kuantan. macam faham-faham je. why is it always like this. i can imagine the seniors gone through the same shit. the fear of loosing a friend bila result MUET dah keluar. some pass and some dont. haishh. see, to go to BLS, one must get at least 3.o for cgpa and score band 4 for MUET. sounds easy. no, its not easy. its unpredictable. its the fear of the unknown 1 day before result MUET keluar. my dear friends, its not the end of the world bila u all tak score MUET. there must be a way bila u betul-betul nak something. everyone know it is true. so dont give up that easy. who knows with lots of prayers God will finally bukak pintu hati Dean Law Fac nak buat interview? :)

take your time to heal. dont take too long. u might lost precious thing along the way. so, take your time and say goodbye to this part of past. when you say goodbye to one thing that will pull you down, then you'll see things better. i know some experienced this before. but no harm trying again.;)insyaallah

i wish everyone pass their MUET. but its in God's hand. He want to test His slave. there are thousands of challenge in front of us. this is one of the challenges. org cakap senang la kan since aku da lepas. this is like me talking to myself. i can burst my tears anytime if i see my friends crying. n how i wish Zack will be fine. haishhh. xsuka la masalah-masalah ni. its like seeing someone you cannot help. as a friend, kalau boleh semua nak tolong. but, in this case. tak boleh buat apa. haisshhh.

kenapa la UiTM tak buat Bel je as a qualification. kan bagus. tak payahlah bazir RM 60 everytime nak sit for MUET. dengan sound interruption masa Listening Test. complaint yang selalu aku dengar. siap tolong orang buat application nak buat paper Listening balik da. but so far, hapak pun tak da. typical Gov agency.

adios.

blood and tears

so. da lama x update blog. yg x ramai orang ni. but still. at least intan ezzety can get my updates. n khairul. if he's reading la kan.

another 1 month. da habis cuti. for the first month. of my cuti. i applied every single retail shop yang ade vacancy. sad enough none called me. a few. but not a good offer. so i talked to this 1 lawyer. applied for internship at his firm. n i terus dapat. turns out. he's looking for people. to do small stuff.

there, i met Alice. 52 year old clerk. very warm. friendly. cool. no words can describe how cool she is for 52 years old. 1st week was all about learning. 2nd week, i got to go court. went there with hanis. it was fun. following the breach of trust case this 29th of april. this particular lawyer handles accident matter more than criminal or conveyancing matter. kinda freaky to see he get his money from blood and tears of people. but hey, its legal. and working in the firm shows me how firm works. different firm got different system. so far, i like Alice's system.

i'll be working there for the next month, may. reluctant to leave the firm. while i'm doing the filing and stuff. i got to see how much money coming in and how much money going out. its thrilling u know. working as an intern really motivates me to become a lawyer. insyaallah.

Social Psychology

today, aku da habis jawab social psycho paper! i manage to get 2 hours of sleep before the paper because i cant sleep! bukan sebab study ke ape, sebab makan ginkgo. so people, jangan makan overdose. mmg xboleh tido. badan lenguh-lenguh. nak tgk Project Runway then tido.

but 1 thing bothers me a lot.

i tend to see my friends are departing. like the circle is no longer a circle. it is like everywhere. maybe physical distance deter our encounter. its true. when we don't see someone as often as we did before, we most likely to focus on the thing that is in front of us rather than the thing that is far away from our eyes. so, aku tak nak la salahkan anyone in this matter. its just i miss u guys.

i miss her. baru jumpa break hari tu. tapi tak puas. ada rezeki jumpa lagi.

budak egypt. belajar kat Alexandria. we rarely talk now.;[

but so far, girls kt KL still in my heart. u know who u are.

but hey, i met new friends who become closer to me. everyone can see that each one of us are making new friends at our institution. bagus la kan. tak kan la nak be friends with the same people. since ur bestfriend is not there with u. damn lonely then. i miss both of u damn much. especially Khairul Anwar. sorry that i forgot ur birthday. i hope we can still talk like we use to talk and i am so proud of Intan Ezzety for such epiphany.

M M? NOT.

mtc 038

well well well. free2 habis 15 markah.-issue- punya la stay up smpai pukul 2.30-3 pagi. -rajin?aku pun nak buat statement jugak- dgn Nasa and Haikal. sebab final exam. and first paper 038. paper mr ikmal n madam bai. bukak2 je question 4. part B. blueggkhh! pening. takut. gentar. 15 marks. xtau nak cakap pe. teringat paper add maths kejap. sbb add maths teruk sangat. mtc 038, part B, question 4. nostalgic.....

beserah je la.....

so afta that. nak menyedapkan hati. paksa Wawa g Secret Recipe. of course ade Zack, Alia and Qissy. Sara ngn Farim mane2 tah. makan CARROT CAKE. -paham x carrot cake sedap?- nafsu buas. its been a while xlepak ngn the girls. especially Qissy. so we talked and laugh smpai lupa kesedihan 038. like semua xdpt jwb same question. Qissy melayan cerita Zack. high end la ape la. kesah aku. hahaha. Wawa ngn Alia beborak ngn aku. mmg best melayan diorg. awww. Miss u girls already. ohh. Wawa order choc cheese kot. Zack choc brownie. and makan tomyam. aku pow zack. tomyam noodle die. so xpayah lunch hari ni. kan da jimat. and then kitorg pergi Giant. Zack beli hape tah. Wawa pun same. canned food. sangat makanan bujang. And aku beli peanut butter with grape. finally. punya la desak Nasa suruh belanja. last sekali kene beli sendiri. hahahaha.

so now. dekat dalam bilik. nak tidur. tapi nak borak ngn Nasa. tapi die tgh tgk Fist of the North Star. tah anime pe tah. nnt aku lyn la tu. nnt. hidup mmg xpernah puas berborak. nak buat laundry petang ni.

F U :DD

not again....

nasa is back. i never realized i missed him that bad. (well qayyum, he's your roommate). whatever. its 4 o' clock. i want to sleep. but i cant. i had fun with doodle tonight. it went well. but i was disturb by the thoughts that my final exam is next week. so i did a little revision. after i finished my revision, i revise my very lovely favorite tv series! Betty. i managed to stream until episode 13th, season 4. n yess. i love betty so much.

every time i watched betty, i got inspired. her character is so inspiring!;] tells you to be positive no matter what happens to you. i enjoyed it. that particular episode is about blogging. what we read now is that people blog about their feelings. hatred the most.happiness too. what the writer-Ugly Betty wants to tell is that blogging helps you voice out.not all of us own a magazine or newspaper or tv company. so blog voice the owners vioce. it is not wrong to voice out your anger, i mean i did that too. but it is more cool,personal opinion, if we blog about something positive! i'm not saying that i wont write-hate anyone. but i hope i wont "tell" much. hahaha. dream on. this post is just a simple review for betty. hahaha.

so, tomorrow, my dear friend Arif will conduct a class at 8 AM. i don't know why the time is so perfect. i can't sleep now. how the hell am i suppose to wake up as early as 8 AM tomorrow?! not funny. he'll be teaching 038. that is our first paper for the upcoming exam. blughh.

and yes. i want to tell more about my aim for this 3-months of holiday. not exactly 3 months. i want to work. a part time job. i fill up few form at Pavilion, KL. if i ever get a job there, i have to take public transport. regret. yet, i don't want to work somewhere around my house. i used to work at Dunkin Donut. i get a lot fatter working there. its not fun to see donuts, sandwiches and coffee in front of your eyes for free! working there, you have to eat or you'll regret.

with that dream of part time job. i hope i can save as much as i can. because... i want my own car. a CLK would be fine. Cute Little Kancil/Kelisa. any would do. haha. imagine me in a kancil/kelisa. that will be like so hot! hahaha.

and not to forget. my dream body. i want a six-packs. badly. right now, i'm in the middle. i don't think i am that fat nor that skinny. middle means flabby. thats what Kay called me. what i have to do now is;
1) work my ass in the gym

wish me all the best!

F U

i miss Sulaiman Marsom, Zaleha Abdullah, Reni Diana, Johan Iskandar(not much), My nieces,Izzati Faiqah, Khairul Anwar, Hafizah Azra, Fadhly Zamry, Ashrul Afham, Anis Mustapha, Reynaldo William, Amirul Asri, Hanis Ali, Dewi Shafikah, Maisara Mustaffa, Lyana Zarrel. Najwa Ismail too!

much

you know how it feels when your friend is happy and you are not? you dig deep into your heart but still... no answer what is that feeling? jealousy? betrayed? i think i got an ISSUE! i'm lonely. my friend must think that it is funny to hear this from me. but hey, yes, i want someone, someone you can lean on when you're in deep trouble. right now, i have my friends. they love me. they care for me. they even breastfed me if i want. but they got their own shit. their own life. i don't want to bother them with my i-can-actually-solve-this-thing-on-my-own story. maybe i don't really need a girlfriend. its a rush. i hate being in a relationship. its the thing that i hate-love. in a relationship, you have to give commitment. its a new thing that i have to learn, adapt and develop. hard work.

i'm writing this post because i was inspired by Ugly Betty. Betty is about saying goodbye.

first thing first, betty. that 11th episode of season 4 is about saying goodbye and start all over again. she had to say goodbye to matt as he wants to help african's. so wahtever. what i actually see in that episode is that, i have to say goodbye to the things that is leaving me. so, goodbye. watching betty saying goodbye to matt really ease my pain. so, saying goodbye is a good way to move forward. so yes, i want to move forward. i don't want to stuck in this mud. i have aim, goal and ambition. i am young. lets not waste my shiny youth moment. LOL. so i should say goodbye to anything that holds me and start over a new page. what is that new page?

a car! a part-time job... and a lean & fit body before my 3rd semester. wish me all the best.

bokkk ehhh :DD