i cant get this out form my system. all i think about is you. but hey, i have a dream. where i want to move on and be happy. i dream of fine day that i will not think about you. but i know that it is impossible as you leave me an ugly scar.
so i got to find a way to shut this misery. i have to find reasons. reasons why i exist in this world. reasons to live. i am not living for you anymore. i am living for myself who i hardly know, for my family who cherish me with their love, for my ambition that keeps me going and for my dreams that keeps me dreaming of life.
so much pain you have caused. so much suffering. i dream of fine day when i can smile again as if there is no black clouds at all. just like how i used to be. jolly, happy and jumping around. feeling me, feeling fresh, feeling real and composed. knowing that i have the power against the ground that i am stepping on. breathing the fresh air that is filled with world's reality. not fantasy. knowing that i am actually breathing for my own sake. not for something that i cant touch and feel anymore as you are invisible.
you stab me everytime i try to smile, you mock me everytime i try to think and you loath me everytime i try to talk. to be happy now is like a sin.
i am done. crying for for you. you are not worth my eyes. i now will decide how i want my life to be. i have dreams and i rather be chasing things that can be reality unlike you that will leave me astray and hanging.
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